4 Things I Did To Help Me Prepare For My First Birthing Experience

I always tell people that I trained for the birth of my first born like a marathon. I did the basics like attending prenatal classes, ensured that I ate a balanced diet with nourishing foods and hydrated myself with water and organic herbal teas such as red raspberry leaf tea in my last trimester, as an example. Staying in motion was also important and helpful to me, I walked as often as I could (honouring my body and not pushing myself beyond what was comfortable), I sat on my exercise ball instead of the couch (more so in my later trimesters), and did trimester appropriate stretches and exercises.

Throughout my life, I heard various experiences of childbirth. Recalling those stories when I was  pregnant made me feel anxious and honestly stressed out; two emotions that you want to lessen as much as possible when you are carrying life. So when I was pregnant and started to feel those emotions, I did what I always do to ease my mind - RESEARCH. Some may advise against this because of the content you may expose yourself to which can adversely impact your mental and emotional wellbeing, but acquiring information helped me make informed decisions.

Epidurals

Prior to having my children, I would describe myself as having little to no pain tolerance. Given that, I wanted to minimize any pain as much as possible. For pain management, hospitals offer epidurals. After speaking with several women who had received epidurals, reading about them, watching enough YouTube videos, and taking into consideration my STRONG distaste for needles (due to past medical traumas), I weighed the pros and cons and decided to not get an epidural. Instead, I sought alternative ways to manage my pain. There’s an expression, “when the student is ready, the teacher shows up” and this manifested in my life. One Saturday afternoon, I was in Costco with my husband when I came across a book called, “The Brain’s Way of Healing: Remarkable Discoveries and Recoveries from the Frontiers of Neuroplasticity” by Norman Doidge. In short, the book demonstrated how people used neuroplasticity to heal themselves. This peaked my interest and I got curious about how I could apply this to my upcoming birth. Which leads me to the next thing that I did, I worked on my mindset.

Hypnobirthing

Down my rabbit hole of research, I came across hypnobirthing. One thing I learned from hypnobirthing was how to reframe how we experience pain, starting with not using pain language. For example, instead of using the word contractions, they are called surges and each one would bring me closer to my baby. This led me to research having a vaginal and epidural free birth. I spoke to the women in my family who had given birth and most of them delivered their children vaginally without epidurals. Due to the benefits of birthing this way, I preferred to go this route. To get more of an idea of what this experience would be like, I watched a plethora of YouTube videos and I ONLY watched the videos that had the outcomes that I desired. Please note, giving birth is such a wild card and anything can happen at any time, that is the reality of the situation. While I wanted a certain experience, I was open to doing whatever was necessary to ensure a safe and healthy experience for my child and I because that was my priority.

Boundaries

One thing I learned was not to allow the unpleasant experiences of others to deter me. When people discovered that I didn’t want an epidural, the negative birth stories started. In hindsight, I wouldn’t disclose that information to protect my space. I realized the importance of being mindful of my environment. I surrounded myself with uplifting and supportive people and thoughts. Whenever I found myself feeling doubtful, nervous, anxious, etc. I would do my deep breathing exercises and meditations. I recited positive affirmations such as, “I am strong”, “I am powerful”, “My body knows what it’s doing”, “I got this”. One particular day, closer to the date of my delivery, I started to worry and feel stressed. I researched the habits of mentally strong people. I grabbed my notebook and wrote down 3 of my biggest fears and at least one thing I could do to prepare (as best I could) for each one. After doing this exercise, I felt ready (as ready as I could be), confident, and empowered; my fears had subsided.

Letting Go

Although I desired a specific end goal, ultimately I had to have faith in and believe that everything would work out exactly the way it needed to. I gave myself permission to release my expectations and be flexible and open to leaving the outcome to God. I trusted that I was being divinely supported by the Universe, God, and my ancestors.

I had a quick delivery. Two and a half pushes later, I ended up giving birth vaginally without an epidural to a healthy baby boy. I didn’t feel any pain, just a lot of pressure. I meditated throughout my whole delivery and engaged in deep breathing (not that short breathing they teach you in the prenatal class, that stressed me out, lol). It was a profoundly emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical experience; one that I won’t forget.

In closing, every pregnancy is different, while my intention in sharing is to help you; I can appreciate that some of it, none of it, or all of it may resonate with you. Take what speaks to you and leave the rest. Support yourself in whatever way you need to during this sacred time in your life.

As always, take deep care and be well mamas.

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