Black Motherhood and Mental Health

By: Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA

With Mother’s Day fast approaching and May 5th to 11th being Mental Health Week, I thought I would take this opportunity to touch upon motherhood and mental health. This year, the theme is “Unmasking Mental Health”. According to the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA), [l]iving with mental health challenges often forces people to hide behind a “mask” to protect themselves from judgment and discrimination. But the heavier the stigma, the heavier the mask becomes, and the more isolated we feel. From conception to birth and beyond; there are a multitude of changes that are happening to a woman that impacts her mentally, physically, emotionally, hormonally, etc. As mothers we do so much for our families and communities; we often prioritize everyone else's needs before our own. As a result, it is easy for a mother’s (mental) health to be overlooked. There are societal expectations that as mothers, we should do it all including carrying the mental load, continually pouring into others gleefully with a smile on our face without complaints or breaks, and more often these days, with little to no support. When we are not able to live up to these (unrealistic) expectations and be the perfect social media mom that so many of us have seen online, not only does this negatively impact our mental health, but we also feel as though we have failed ourselves and our families. Moreover, we may be left feeling exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and the list goes on. There are several other factors that impact maternal mental health like the social determinants of health such as income, housing, employment, education, early childhood development, perinatal health care, community and social supports. For Black moms, this is all compounded by (anti-Black) racism, which is a key determinant of health and wellness and is ingrained in socially constructed structures that further increase health inequities of populations because of their race. Historically, showing signs of “weakness” which I like to reframe as humanity, has (falsely) indicated a lack of strength. We are reluctant to ask for the very support that we need as some of us would rather struggle in silence than be viewed as weak. This is a silent epidemic that is plaguing our communities and we need to normalize having a human experience, creating safe spaces to discuss the various challenges we face, and feeling comfortable asking for help.

‍

Action Steps

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel.

Allow yourself to be human. Life is not without its adversities and parenting comes with its own set of unique challenges.

Talk to a trusted health care provider.

There was a time in my life when I felt disconnected from myself, scared, lost, alone, exhausted, and more. In speaking with my family doctor, he initially thought I was depressed. However; upon further listening, he concluded I was burnt out. Over the years along my motherhood journey, my therapist, naturopathic doctor, dieticians, and nutritionists (among others) have tremendously helped me navigate through the storms.

Get a second opinion.

If you feel in your gut or spirit that something is off and you’re not comfortable with your diagnoses, seek a second opinion.

Cultivate community.

Get out into social spaces whether that’s with other moms or in a group of people who share similar interests as you. For example, join a book club, run club, or sign up for a class that interests you. Stay connected to your current supports whether that’s a friend group, church community, etc.

Move your body.

If you are newly postpartum and are cleared by your doctor to do so, take it easy and start by going for walks whether that’s outdoors or indoors (i.e. a walking track or the mall).

Nourish your body.

Eating healthy food and drinking water are the best things you can do not only for your body, but for your mind.

Be mindful of what you consume.

Between the negative news cycles and social media platforms sharing various content from triumphs to tragedies, consuming it can be a lot. If social media is a way for you to stay connected, you may want to consider tailoring your algorithm as much as possible to content that is edifying and uplifting. Or you can opt to do something else instead like getting lost in a good book or tv series.

Resources

If this is new to you and you do not know where to start, check out Mino Care as they offer a variety of services such as mental health support, perinatal support, lactation consultant services and more. Visit their website here for more information. In addition, the Government of Canada has provided a Guide to Postpartum Health and Caring for Your Baby which you may find helpful that can be found here. The PDF version is available here.

In closing, I’d like to leave you with a gentle reminder that as a mother, it is okay not to be able to do and be everything to everyone; we were never meant to. It’s okay to struggle with your mental health, you are not less than. It actually makes you human and is an appropriate response to what you are experiencing. Observing nature teaches us that nothing blooms year round, even the animals slow down and go into hibernation, so should we. It is important for us to slow down, go within, be honest with ourselves, and honor our capacity at any given time. We owe it to ourselves to give ourselves the same grace we give to others. Remember, you are loved, cared for, and supported, mama. Be safe and be well.

Nicki Reid, Bilingual BA

Certified Transformational Health and Life Coach | Certified Yoga and Meditation Teacher | Certified Emotional Emancipation Facilitator | Certified Reiki Practitioner | Founder, Wholesome Mind Health Coaching

‍

‍